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EFT For The Outsider - Events Model & Memory Enrichment

by Carna Zacharias-Miller

 Dr. Silvia Hartmann's "Events Psychology" opens new doors to understanding human behaviour and healing what went wrong. Read the case of a woman who was scared of groups, and how Events Psychology and EFT turned out to be a winning combination.

“Claire” is tormented by the belief that she is always the outsider in groups. Even if everything seems to be fine, she has this unsettling feeling, that, out of the blue, she can be kicked out. And if a group does not work for whatever reason, she feels devastated, rejected, and abandoned. She has no idea where these very intense emotions are coming from; there is no memory that could account for that.

Do you have a recurring theme or issue in your life, something that happens in variations over and over again? Let’s say you have done EFT on it, and that helped somewhat, but the issue is still present with this strangely intense emotional charge you cannot account for.  It could be some specific fear, a stubborn belief, or repeating a painful situation.

Maybe you could benefit from a method that can be woven beautifully into EFT sessions: Events Psychology, developed by Dr. Silvia Hartmann, works with events, and only events, in order to evolve and integrate them in a healing and uplifting way into your life.

Events are highly charged, one time experiences that change a person’s energy system forever. We are most familiar with trauma, but there are two other significant types of events. One of them is the Guiding Star which is a stuck peak experience. For example, no man could ever live up to the way your first love kissed you at the beach that summer night….Guiding Stars can be as devastating to the emotional health of a person as trauma since they don’t allow to move on. The other significant type is the Missing Event. This is en event, we feel, should have happened but did not, and it leaves us with a deep feeling of emptiness and deprivation. For example, your mother never telling you that she loved you.

The beauty of  Events Psychology is that it provides a given structure, but within this structure, it is method and content free. This means that you can work on the problem with EFT, creative imagination, Emotrance, Reiki, Art Therapy, NLP, breath work, hypnotherapy…whatever relieves stress and brings about change. I am one of the very first practitioners to have been certified in this new modality. For more information about EvP go to www.eventspsychology.com

Let’s look at Claire. Why did she always end up feeling abandoned and rejected or even threatened and scared by groups?

We started with tapping on all the feelings and body sensations that came up around this subject:

Even though I am always the outsider in groups, and that makes me feel unsafe…

Even though they can kick me out at any time, and I feel powerless to prevent that…

Even though there is this intense fear flaming up in my solar plexus when I think of joining a group…

In an Events Psychology session, it is essential to monitor and treat stress levels at all times. It is an integral part of the process. EFT is an excellent tool to do that, but any other stress relief technique like Emotrance or Guided Imagery can be used. Sometimes all it takes are a few words of reassurance by the practitioner, or taking a slow, deep breath.

When Claire’s general stress level came down from an 8 to a 3, I asked her if she could remember a specific situation in her childhood or teenager years where she had been kicked out or treated in a cruel way by a group. Absolutely nothing came to mind. She had been a hyper-sensitive, shy kid who did not socialize easily, but she had never been treated in that way by any group.

This is the situation where Events Psychology can be very helpful. Since there was no appropriate memory to work with, I decided to build an “Events Model” with her.

An Events Model is a deliberately constructed, hypothetical event with a purpose. Since the storage of events is entirely intrapersonal anyway, and a past memory is nothing but energy at this moment, it is as “real” to the brain as any remembered memory. It is a clear and vivid situation a person creates that would account for any and all of his problems.

So I asked a basic Events Psychology question:  “What specific event would have caused these feelings?”(This or a similar question has to be asked repeatedly to keep a laser sharp focus on the problem).

Then I guided Claire, step by step, through the experience asking questions like: How old are you? Where are you? What people are with you? What is happening? What happens next? What are you feelings about that? When the basic model has evolved, additional questions are asked: What would you like to add to this model to refine it? What else needs to be there to create the problem we see today? Is it complete now?

Once the situation or story is complete with all necessary details, we extract the main event from it: the exact moment that carries the most charge. Then we ask for the body sensations that go with this event, and we ask for the metacomments which are general conclusions we have drawn from an experience, like “I am stupid”, “men (women) cannot be trusted”, or “I never get what I want””. They often influence our whole life.

Here is the summary of Claire’s Events Model:

She is somewhere in the Southwest as a member of a Native American community where she was a highly respected, young medicine woman. No man was allowed to touch her. However, there was one young man who could not leave her alone, and when she rejected him, he thrust a poisonous arrow into his arm. Before he died he told the tribe that she had killed him. She was shunned and cast away into the wilderness. Besides the physical death sentence, it was the emotional agony that killed her. She expected until the last moment that they would come and take her back. But they didn’t, and she died alone.

The actual event was the moment she realized that they would not come back for her.

Would that have caused the feelings with groups she is experiencing now?

Yes!

Was this a past life regression? Maybe. It doesn’t matter. It was a very specific creation of her energy mind (subconscious) that explained her highly charged feelings about groups completely.

Claire’s stress level was up, so we started tapping on her body sensations and metacomments.

Even though it literally broke my heart when they did not come back…

Even though it is not safe to belong to groups, something bad always happens…

Even though I cannot rely on anybody, nobody supports and protects me…

We went through several rounds of this and similar phrases until her stress level subsided. She felt OK and the thought of being with groups did not upset or frighten her anymore.

Now, this is probably where an EFT session would end. And that’s fine. With Events Psychology, however, we go a step further (the whole process of working with a single event can take 1 to 3 sessions). We want the client not only to release the issue, but to feel great, to be uplifted, to have what we call an emotional threshold shift. It is up to the practitioner to find a change method to accomplish that, and she can bring in any healing modality she is trained in, or whatever her intuition tells her to do.

I chose to do a memory enrichment.

Enriching a memory means adding components and points of view to the original memory (or events model) that was not a part of it before. Some people will choose to have spirit guides present, some will step into the memory as their current selves, some take the practitioner with them, or a dead family member. Some will take a completely different perspective of another person involved. There is always a supernatural or metaphysical component present. In any case, a memory enrichment needs to answer the question: How can we make it a deeply satisfying, happy event?

Again, I guided Claire step by step through this process. 

This was her enriched Events Model:

It starts at the moment the young man thrusts the poisoned arrow into his arm, accuses her of killing him and dies. As before, she is cast away into the wilderness. However, in this model, she has a complete different experience. For the first time in her life, she is actually alone, and that is mind blowing for the young medicine woman. She connects with the plants and animals, and the elements around her in a blissful, empowering way. Her skills are lifted onto a whole new level.

One day, a group from her old tribe arrives to take her back home. They say that the young man had appeared in their dreams and told them the truth. Claire knows that he has sacrificed himself out of love to give her this growth experience. She goes back and becomes a mature, much revered medicine woman with amazing healing skills.

Her new metacomments are: I can trust my spiritual guidance.  It is safe and joyful to be with others. I am here to serve my community.

Claire was very excited and happy after her session. Threshold shift! Shortly after that, she joined a new professional group and is feeling completely safe and spiritually uplifted with it.

Now, building Events Models and enriching memories is an exciting way to work with Events Psychology. However, it is not necessary to engage in any kind of metaphor work. Here is the core structure of an EvP session. It gives you the freedom to use any healing modality of your choice.

  1. Consider the topic under investigation with the client (or with yourself).
  2. Find one single memory (trauma, Guiding Star, Missing Event) that has strong emotional intensity. Work exclusively with this memory. If there is a story, extract the moment or detail with the most charge, which is the actual event.
  3. Be very aware of the client’s (or your) stress levels. Reduce the stress immediately when it comes up during the session, using EFT or other stress relief techniques. Repeat if needed.
  4. Access the event fully and completely. Describe in detail what was heard, seen, felt, sensed, etc.
  5. Find the physical sensation that occurred at the time of the event.
  6. Discover the metacomments that arose immediately after the physical sensation –at the time of the event. Ask: Can you understand why you would have thought that back then?
  7. Change and evolve this event in any way you are trained to do, or your intuition tells you until a full threshold shift is achieved. (In the case described above, I used EFT, building an Events Model since there was no memory present and evolving it with a memory enrichment).

The combination of EFT and Event Psychology is a powerful tool to heal the past and unlock the future.

© 2010 Carna Zacharias-Miller http://emotionalwellnesscoach.net/

Posted Feb 13, 2010 by Carna Zacharias-Miller   
Carna Zacharias-Miller
Carna Zacharias-Miller

Carna Zacharias-Miller is a certified EFT practitioner in Tucson, Arizona and a ballroom dancer. Her specialties are working with people who grew up in dysfunctional families and introducing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to the dance community. She wrote the book It Takes Two to Tango - Achieving peak performance in dancing with EFT at amazon.com.

For information about how to become a better dancer go to http://www.EFTforDancers.com For information about abandonment or rejection by the mother, or an absent childhood father (physically or emotionally), go to http://www.MissingMother.com

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