Phobia Self Help Treatment - How To Cure Your Phobia Successfully With EFT
Thousands upon thousands of people have successfully cured their phobias of
all manner of things, substances, events and occurrences with EFT since it was
first released.
Indeed, EFT's predecessor TFT (Roger Callahan's Thought Field Therapy)
breakthrough story revolves around a severe case of ablutophobia (fear of
washing and water), which was cured completely in a single tapping session and
NEVER came back - this is now 17 years ago, so the METs can be said to really
cure phobias once and for all.
Here is the step-by-step guide on how to cure phobias successfully in self
help treatment.
1. Learn EFT Properly
This may be achieved by getting personal tuition from a practitioner, or by
reading a suitable EFT training manual, for example, Adventures
In EFT by Silvia Hartmann, PhD.
In order to treat ones own phobia successfully, freebie bits and pieces
gleaned from the Internet are NOT sufficient. For example, Gary Craig's manual
which accompanies his EFT training course is NOT a stand-alone manual and MUST
be used by ordering the accompanying videos/CDs from http://Emofree.com
Phobias are amongst the most intense and extreme emotional and physiological
reactions a person can ever experience and if you wish to treat your own phobia
in self help with EFT, then you need to be properly trained and equipped to face
your own demons.
2. Overcoming Your Phobia - The Pre-Work
For a real phobia (rather than a dislike of something which is an entirely
different proposition and should NEVER be confused with a real phobic response
which is entirely out of control and tremendously frightening, with painful
physiological side effects and huge stress after each occurrence!), we need to
do some pre-work.
Many people are so terrified of the "Object of Fear" or OOF for
short that they cannot even think about it, say the word or be anywhere near to
the OOF even in their own thoughts without getting very stressed out.
So here is our first Prime Directive:
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF!
EFT is NOT like cognitive therapy approaches or behaviourism where you force
a terrified person into the presence of the object in the forlorn hope that
they'll get used to that amount of suffering eventually.
EFT is beautiful and gentle and there need not be any fear or pain at all,
just perfect release and EASY relief all around - if we do it properly.
So for each person, we need to find is a starting point.
If you cannot even say or think the word related to your own phobia, be it of
air travel, clowns or pieces of wood, we can start with very generic set up
phrases to relax you into the process of clearing your phobia eventually, once
and for all.
Such starting points can be:
- "Even though I have these fears I cannot control, I deeply and
profoundly love and accept myself."
- "Even though there are things that terrify me, I deeply and
profoundly love and accept myself."
- "Even though I don't want to think about this ever, I deeply
and profoundly love and accept myself."
It is important to remember always:
- that you are true to yourself and true to your real feelings;
- that you don't push yourself any further than you are entirely
comfortable;
- and that you honour your own thoughts, sensations and feelings and tap
those, and NEVER what you think you "should" be saying.
If you want to tap a round for, "I don't want to do this at all and it's
pointless and nothing will change anyway and I'll never get over this because
I'm such a loser ..." then that's what you should be tapping for.
Go with yourself in this pre-work phase and simply tap on whatever comes into
your mind.
When you are much more relaxed about it all and slightly curious instead of
resistant or frightened, we can go on to the next stage - and no sooner. There
is no time frame for this. You might tap pre-work statements like the above for
a single round, for two days, a whole week - your OWN time frame is the ONLY
RIGHT one.
Step 2 - Distancing Ourselves From The Object Of Fear
Now, we are ready to get to work on your phobia itself.
What happened in the past is that at one time, something very bad happened
and the object you are now phobic of was present at that precise time. Our minds
and bodies, always mindful of protecting us from bad things, made a note and
rings the alarm bells when that OOF is encountered again to make sure you really
stay away this time.
This is just the same with every phobia, even though the psych community has
had fun over the years with collecting all the "crazy things" people
can get phobic of and giving them crazy names - like the ubiquitous
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia which is a fear of long words!!!
If a small child or any human is hurt or frightened badly enough, they will
naturally become phobic of something or other that happened to be there as the
body mind thinks THAT was the reason for the fear or pain - and sometimes,
that's correct as it would be with certain animals or insects jumping and
frightening someone. But sometimes it's incorrect and there actually was no
cause and effect at all - such as the lady who was stung by a bee which had sat
in her hair brush and who became phobic of combing or brushing her hair as the
result.
It is a completely natural system and we can undo these things easily with
EFT. You are NOT crazy at all, and it doesn't matter WHAT triggers you at all. That
was just present when "it" happened and we can now return that
to the past and just being a part of our environment, where that
naturally belongs.
So, what I would like you to do now is to consider your Object of Fear. If
you cannot think about it or say its name, we are going to use a symbol or
presentation.
You can call it, "THAT", for example - "Even though I am
terrified of THAT, I deeply and profoundly ..."
If that is still to frightening, you can call it something more abstracted
still - pick a "code word" like Cinderella, for example. You know what
it means and that's all we need and the opening statement becomes, "I am
afraid of/terrified of/hate Cinderella, and I deeply ..."
You can also just tap the code word without anything else, so the set up
would be just "Cinderella" as you rub the Sore Spot or tap the Karate
Chop, and you would just say, "Cinderella" on each point.
Other options include give a codename that is a colour, or a number.
These code words make you "further removed" or further away from
the OOF and the further away you are, the less the fear is or the less the
likelihood that you will experience a panic attack.
We will use the principle on moving in closer to the OOF itself both in body
and in mind, but unlike common therapies for phobias, we stop when we feel fear
and we do NOT move any closer until and unless IT IS ENTIRELY COMFORTABLE TO
TAKE THE NEXT STEP.
That is really, really important and the biggest difference between EFT and
other treatments - we do not make anything worse, we only make it better.
So, we stay with a keyword or a code word for your problem and tap on THAT
until you are ABSOLUTELY READY to go on to being a little more specific,
by naming your phobia now in real words, for example.
Please Note: If you have a severe phobia, stop reading this article NOW
and treat yourself up to the point where you can name your phobia specifically.
I am going to mention certain things by name from now on and would not wish you
to be disturbed by this.
3. Naming The Phobia In Words
When you are ready to say, "I am absolutely terrified of
snakes/clowns/pieces of blank paper/the scent of vanilla/horses/the taste of
paprika on my tongue/the sound of kittens/etc. etc ...and I deeply and
profoundly love and accept myself," please know that you have taken a major
step in the right direction and from now on, everything will unfold as it
should.
If you are treating your own phobia in self help and without a guiding
practitioner to steady you, you need to have a piece of paper handy and write
down any memory flashes, ideas, words that came into your head as you tap the
points.
I would even suggest to tap each point at a time and write down what happened
*on each point* because this will help you find the *specific aspects* to your
own phobia - where it came from, what triggers it, what is especially important
to your neurology, etc.
At the end of the round, you can look at your sheet and focus on the next
most important important thing to tap for, which will be different for everyone.
For some people, it is a memory of when it first happened; for some people, it
is a safety thought such as, "Will I be safe when I am not so afraid
anymore?"
Take your time, work through these things and be thorough.
Take as long as you need over this step, and once in a while come back to the
original opening statement where you named the phobia to check how much, if any,
fear remains when you speak the phobia's name.
4. MindWalking Into The Phobia Situation, Encountering The Phobia Object
Now, and before we rush out to face the spider, the swimming pool, the
airplane etc. etc., we are going to use the MindWalk technique to be really sure
that we are picking up ALL the related aspects and that the fear is really going
now.
For this, we are just going to imagine encountering the OOF in a place where
you would normally expect, or to remember a time when you did and use that
environment.
If you are not very good at imagining by sitting still with your eyes closed,
you can do this MindWalk by pretending to have the OOF in the room with you or
that your room is a place which is like the environment of the OOF.
If this thought causes you distress, stop immediately and start treating
yourself for any fears, thoughts, and also for body sensations associated with
this exercise (See The
EFT Body Protocol).
Practise this stage until you can walk right up to the OOF, touch it or
interact with it in your mind's eye or in pretend acting in your own room and
you are perfectly happy, clear and curious about the *real*
object/situation in the real world.
Only when you are absolutely ready, we go on to the next step, which is
getting closer and closer to really meeting with the OOF and being entirely calm
and relaxed about the whole thing.
Step 5 - Bridging Into The Reality
Now, we are going to use something real and tangible. This may be a
photograph, a movie representation, or even a real life situation such as a lift
in a shopping mall.
Before you do it, remember that if you are still scared while *thinking
about it*, you are not yet ready for this step and more tapping needs to
be done. You should also not and never use willpower to make yourself do
these things or face your fears - that is not what we do in EFT treatments. Just
keep tapping for whatever comes up for you until you are simply no longer
afraid.
Be at a perfect distance from the real object (or photographic
representation) where you can be aware of the reality of it, and yet you are
completely calm and unafraid.
Some people can at this point go within 50 steps of a lift, for example, or
have the image of a mouse in the same room but about 6 foot away and feel
completely calm.
Now we move in a little closer, paying VERY VERY CLOSE ATTENTION to
how we feel inside. *ANY* twinge, hesitation, churning in the stomach,
sweaty hands, nervousness or however fear manifests for you - STOP AND TAP
IMMEDIATELY!!!
You are simply NOT allowed any closer UNLESS you are absolutely free of fear
and you feel inside yourself a sense of calm or even curiosity or WANTING to go
closer.
Follow this process until you are right close up to the OOF.
Step 6 - Phobia Freedom - The Breakthrough Shift
Most people find that at some point in this "edging in" process a
real shift occurs - a threshold seems to have been breached and the last ten
yards now are nothing as they rush forward, all fears having receded and they
are simply not there anymore.
This is what you are actually looking for - this threshold shift into
"My God, it is completely gone!! I WANT TO get in the lift/touch that
spider/brush my hair!!! Oh WOW!"
Now you might not believe just yet that you too can experience this shift,
but I (and thousands of other EFT practitioners!) can seriously tell you that it
does happen, time and time again, and that we KNOW we still have some more
tapping to do if it hasn't happened.
That move from fear and anxiety into sheer forward movement is the proof to
us that the phobia has been entirely overcome and that it will never come back -
the job has been completed.
I would sincerely ask you to keep on going until you have this shift as well;
please remember that as long as you still feel anxiety anywhere in your body or
you are using willpower or gritted teeth, *there is still some work left to
be done*.
7 - In Conclusion
When you are working by yourself with a serious phobia or phobic response,
this is NOT a one round, all is well kind of deal. There may be a whole lot of
tapping to be done over the period of as long as a week to get to that
breakthrough moment when the fear has completely and totally gone.
On the other hand, that is not much of an investment in either time or
attention if you think how much less stressful life will be for you from that
moment on.
If you are really thorough, and most importantly, LISTEN TO YOURSELF
with great care so that as soon as a thought or feeling comes up and you treat
THAT right away, this protocol WILL absolutely work and allow you to be free of
your phobia forever - and should you ever pick up another in the future, you
will be able to treat that too.
Should you come across thoughts and feelings that are simply too overwhelming
or disturbing to approach by yourself, I highly recommend booking a session with
a certified AMT
Practitioner to get you at least started off in the right direction, or to
help you overcome your phobia, once and for all.
Copyright Silvia Hartmann, PhD, 2003.
Trainings Director, The Association For Meridian Energy
Therapies The AMT
Author, Adventures In EFT
& The Advanced Patterns Of EFT
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