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What’s NLP got to do with it? - Beliefs, Questions & Realisations

by Peter Delves

What’s NLP got to do with it? - Beliefs, Questions & Realisations

Peter Delves writes: On the face of it, you might think that using meridian energy therapies is simple. Take EFT for example. You contact the problem, give it a number and tap away until it’s zero. Job done. Easy. Yes? Not always. Problems can be complex and what’s going on under the surface can be hard to fathom. Not only that, but using the right language can be difficult to figure out. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has ways of assisting the MET practitioner. It offers powerful insights into how people think feel and behave, and it’s also about change.

Yes it does have a range of techniques, some of which may be familiar to you, but it also provides an insight into the complex world of human beings. One simple example of this is the structure of beliefs. It’s an interesting idea that - beliefs have a structure? Your clients will allude to all manner of self limiting beliefs as they talk about their issues, even if they are only emotional.

Many limiting beliefs are characterised by terms such as:

“can’t”

“need”

“have to”

“must”

“mustn’t”

“should”

“shouldn’t”

It is generally frowned upon in psychotherapy to challenge such limiting beliefs with the question “why” or “why not?” Let’s look at an example:

I can’t sustain a prosperous business in the current economic climate”.

By asking the question “why not?” you are likely to elicit a list of reasons which only justify and re-enforce the limiting belief rather than shifting it.

With EFT you can of course simply tap for the belief itself. So you would ask the person how strongly do they believe the limiting belief and tap it until it is at zero. However sometimes it pays to refine things first with a bit more questioning.

NLP offers many constructive responses to limiting beliefs. Here’s just one:

What would have to be different for you to sustain a prosperous business in the current economic climate?”

That question takes the brain in a different direction. You are looking for practical suggestions within the person’s control, rather than external factors. Therefore it could be phrased more specifically,

What would you have to do differently to sustain a prosperous business in the current economic climate?”

With each question, no matter how skilful, there can be further limiting beliefs that emerge or “buts”. So a person might say,

I would have to market my business better, but…”

Each negative response or “but” offers an opportunity to shift it with an energy therapy.

Let me be clear that I am not saying that changing the beliefs alone is all that this client would require. However clearing away the limiting beliefs are necessary in order to free up energy for positive, realistic ACTION.

One last thing about NLP is that it can work on a number of levels. While your conscious mind is engaged in one aspect of the communication, your subconscious can engage with another aspect and bring about useful unexpected changes. Can you believe that?

About Peter

Peter Delves is a Master Practitioner of NLP has been a licensed trainer for the AMT for 10 years. He runs an extensive range of courses in the UK Midlands.

Posted Jan 20, 2009 by Peter Delves   
Peter Delves

Peter Delves

 


Peter Delves
MCIPD, MNCH (Acc.), CTAMT


Q. You seem to provide a diverse range of services. How do they all fit together?

Peter. Well I divide my time between three areas, notably seeing private clients, professional training for therapists and delivering in-house training courses for organisations. The common theme throughout is enabling people to overcome limitations and develop skills. So while it may seem a diverse range it all does fit from my point of view!

Q. How did you arrive at doing what you do now?

Peter. About 20 years ago I was working as a Human Resources Manager for a Social Services Department. My role included ill-health visits for staff who were on long-term sickness absence due to stress. In many cases they had to retire on ill-health grounds. I felt at the time that there were other options available to help people recover and started to explore the whole nature of stress and different approaches to resolving it – even if they didn’t seem conventional.

This led me to taking training in clinical hypnotherapy and subsequently joining the National Council for Hypnotherapy. After qualifying I set up my private practice and continued to learn new techniques and approaches, notably NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programming). My human resources background (CIPD qualified) had equipped me with training skills and experience and a former employer, Leicester City Council, approached me to run a stress management training course for them.

It turned out to be a great success and I have continued to run courses for them, and many other organisations, ever since. In 1998 I started to hear about new techniques which apparently were getting incredible results. These came under the umbrella of “meridian energy therapies” and I trained in TFT (Thought Field Therapy) and then EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). I discovered that what I had heard wasn’t just hype and started to get impressive results with clients very quickly. From 1999 I became an appointed trainer for the AMT (Association for Meridian Energy Therapies) and subsequently a trainers’ trainer.

Q. How long have you been practising in Kenilworth?

Peter. I’ve been here since 1999. Prior to being in Kenilworth I was running the practice in Leicester from 1990. In that time I reckon I've worked with over 4000 clients.

Q. What issues do clients see you for mostly?

Peter. Although I work with a variety of problems, the most frequent issues that I help resolve are anxiety states of one type or another. These can be experienced in the form of panic attacks, phobias and work-related stress problems. It is very rewarding when I receive feedback from people who find that they can be relaxed in previously threatening situations, whether that is in the workplace, social situations or flying in a plane. It’s also great to help people stop smoking too!

Q. How do corporate clients respond to your more unorthodox methods such as EFT?

Peter. I don’t always include EFT on my stress management training for corporate clients if I think they would prefer a more conservative approach. When I do introduce it, people are very enthusiastic. They just can’t ignore the results. Warwick University Business School even commissioned me to run stress management workshops based around EFT which was very successful.

Q. Who are your associates?

Peter. My principal associate is Julie Gallimore. Her specialist areas include delivering training to organisations in Work-life Balance, Stress Management Skills, Coping with Change and Counselling Skills at Work. She also provides career consultancy for organisations whose employees are experiencing change, or needing to develop skills.

There are other associates who assist me from time to time with the delivery of training in EFT and the other meridian energy therapies.

Q. How do you see your work developing in the future?

Peter. I am already bringing some new ideas to fruition. For the corporate world I am working on a training called “Working Smarter” which will be about updating time management techniques for the 21st Century to help reduce stress and be more efficient.

Another new development is “EFT & The Enneagram.” The Enneagram is a fascinating model of human nature which provides great insights into personality styles, motivation patterns and directions for personal development. One more area of work which I will be developing further is helping sports men and women and musicians to maximise performance.

So the next 20 years looks as busy as the last!

You can contact Peter by calling (01926) 856746 or by e-mail

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